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Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Houston, Texas, USA.
A Letter to Kenya - Today, 04:24 AM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dear Kenya ,
Pain will hinder my eloquence as I try to use the only resource I have to help you – my words. I’ve cried as I received pictures of you attempting to kill yourself. I’m crying as I write these words to try to get you to stay alive. Don’t die Kenya . Please don’t die. My existence comes from your existence so please, please don’t die. I loved you way before I knew the meaning of love and I can not see my future without you. My life is shaped with you in it so if you were to lose yours, I will not have a purpose for mine. I completely understand that you received terrible news on the 30th of December, but that’s no reason to shed your blood. You are the pillar that holds East Africa and the role-model for your siblings. Uganda needs you. Somalia needs you. Tanzania needs you. Sudan needs you. Ethiopia needs you. I, my beautiful Kenya , NEED you. Please don’t die.
The news that you hold can not be the reason for your death. Heck! Nothing should be the reason for your death as you have survived greater tribulations than these. I’ve listened to your cries and hope that my only available resource - words from my heart - can be of help. I know that actions would speak louder than words, but I do not hold a position that would make my actions louder, so I am writing. I am writing with the hope that you will read this before its too late. I’m writing with the knowledge that when you read these words, you will understand me. I’m writing with the intentions of helping you open your eyes and see that you are the only one that can act. Act, because if you don’t, you will be killing me too.
I can not stomach the thought of you treading the path of your sibling Rwanda . Neither can I stand the sight of any more of your blood. The news that has driven you to this state of mind is not worth your blood. You have let it control you to the point of arguing with your own reflection. Your reflection has all of a sudden become your enemy and given you the notion that it is the cause of your troubles. It is not you that you see when you look in the mirror but rather, the person that wronged you. The person that made a choice on the 27th of December, only to have it synthesized, marred, and scrutinized as if it weren’t supposed to be a choice in the first place - YOUR choice, in the first place. This choice has come back to haunt you and at times taunt you. You are now looking at yourself and saying that “no way I made that choice.” “There is no way I made the choice that has for the past five years, half-heartedly brought me to my feet. I can’t believe that I had the audacity to let this decision hurriedly take substance. There is no way that I made that decision, so it had to be YOU! You in the mirror! You made that choice! I will make you suffer because your choice is the one in control.”
Kenya , please look in the mirror and see who you are trying to kill. It is you! Your own face! This is the face that endures work, five days a week so as to stay alive. The same face that weeks before, greeted you with a smile. Not to long ago, you looked into this face and saw no harm or danger. Take a look at its lovely chocolate skin. Isn’t it the same as yours? The person in the mirror is you! You are killing yourself! You are destroying things that make you, Kenya , one of the best in the African family. Your features attract millions. You are diverse from head to toe. You sport the Luo’s Chieno and appear majestic; your movements to the Gikuyu’s Mugoiyo are graceful; the Gusii’s Matoke is a meal you enjoy; you find comfort in the arms of Kamba’s Mwaitu; Abaluya’s Avalasi have died for you. You have celebrated AFC Leopards’ wins and shed tears when Gor Mahia came up a goal short. The world thought you only had Kipchoge Keino, but you gave them Moses Kiptanui. You followed with Paul Tergat and Tegla Loroupe.
This is no time to shed your blood Kenya . You have already done enough of that. You lost a lot of it since the blood-sucking ticks landed at your beach in the1500’s. You were fooled and controlled in the name of modernization. You lost your blood when outsiders stripped you naked and whipped you mercilessly and made you work for them. You shed blood when the Mau Mau helped you maintain your dignity and traditions. You bled when the outsiders used you and raped you. These outsiders even made you start killing yourself. Blood was lost when you tried to gain ownership of yourself. You succeeded, Kenya , because you wanted to be your own person; stand strong as an individual, and have the right to make choices for yourself. The loss of that type of blood was justified. This blood loss however, is not. You are not fighting an outsider that is trying to control you. No my dear, you are fighting yourself. You are destroying that same thing that you worked so hard to build. You might make the assumption that the decision that is subject justifies the blood. To this, I tell you no! You can not punish your reflection because the person suffering is you.
Kenya, please stop killing yourself because I’m dying too. Stop destroying that which makes you beautiful because no one will look at you. Please stop shedding your own blood because soon, your heart will stop beating. My heart will stop beating. I’m pleading you, Kenya ; put down the panga that you brandish at your reflection; throw away the mawe aimed at your image. Take a step back and look closely in the mirror. You will find that it is you that you are looking at. Take another step back and look even closer. Listen to your thoughts and weigh them against your actions. Please see that it is the fact that you are throwing stones, waving knives, and burning your own parts to the ground, that a conclusion can not be reached. It is because of the violent nature of yourself that a solution to the present problem can not be reached. It makes it harder to think clearly when you are angry, Kenya . Take a deep breath and look at yourself again. Take another step back and look behind you. There, you will see where you came from; how far you have come; how much education you have amassed; and how further you will go only, and only if, you do not stop killing yourself.
My eyes are hurting now, Kenya , so I have to go. My heart is breaking as I sit here writing to you in this time of sorrow. I will not stop crying and neither will I stop praying for you. I will stand for you and continue to live for, and because of you. You are my life, my reflection, my reason, and my first love. You took care of me and it saddens me greatly to know that there is little I can do for you. My only hope is that you will hear my cries from overseas. I pray that when you read my letter, you will smile because you understand my words. You will smile because you will act on my words. You will look at your reflection and say, “I’m sorry.” Stare in the mirror and cry as you look at your wounds. Sob at the thought of killing yourself. You will then rise. Rise with your back straight, chin up, and chest out. Rise and allow for your thoughts to work. Allow your thoughts to take the right step in rectifying the problem. Rise and go wash your wounds. Busy yourself with bandaging that which has been damaged. Steer away from anger as this hinders thought, reason, and the ability to let the right decision take control. Stop killing yourself Kenya . This is because as you slowly die, the decision that is viewed as fraudulent, gains more control of YOU.
I love you, Kenya , and all that you stand for.
Your beloved son,
Ishmael Keari Machoka.
P.s. Mungu akubariki.
http://www.mashada.com/forums/kenya-2008/63698-letter-kenya.html
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